Kissing alchemy, Photo by Klara Kulikova on Unsplash
I often talk about this alchemy. This alchemy is often missing, and it’s rare to find it by chance.
I won’t talk about anything specific here, the facts will be vague, there will be no name, no day of the week, no month.
All this will remain anonymous and secret.
Invisible
For me, he was not even in my scope. A little brother at most, a mystery, a young man, rather handsome but too young, rather clever but cold.
In short, for me, seducing him was never an option, let alone kissing him. If I had considered many others, sometimes less beautiful ones, it’s because I didn’t see in him any sign of interest towards me and no semblance of seduction.
Add to that the fact that he has been in a relationship for a short time, and according to his actions and his very loving words, even the hunter that I am doesn’t eat from other people’s fridges.
The slip
Except that there was that night. Too much alcohol, too many shots.
I go to meet him, for a purely material reason. He doesn’t have what I’m looking for, too bad. I am about to go back to the dance floor, when he suggests me to go somewhere else.
At the time, I don’t understand, and then I don’t try to understand. Naive, I am. And finally away from the others, he stops in front of me, and kisses me.
Where does this kiss come from? Uh, really I was more expecting to see the Queen of England coming out of the ground than to have her lips on mine.
Except that her lips on mine are exactly where they should be. They are greedy, soft, sweet. With one movement, he opened Pandora’s box.
I hadn’t felt such alchemy for a long time. My gestures find their natural place, I clutch him, my kiss responds to his and it’s as if I can’t get away from it.
It’s almost compulsive, we devour each other with desire, I take him further away. My hormones are on fire, I want to make him disappear inside me.
Lucidity
So yes, I am drunk, and everything is always more fluid, less awkward when you are drunk. But even when I’m drunk, it’s rare that I don’t ask myself questions.
Someone could surprise us, someone could see us, and yet my body can’t get away from his. Here I am, on top of him astride as his lips attack my cleavage and neck, I have a glimmer of clarity.
“Stop, you have a girlfriend.” He stops. His eyes pierce me.
“Yes.” “Do you love her?” “Yes.” “Then we stop, it’s not right. “
“You’re right,” he whispers as his lips go back to assaulting the birth of my breasts.
Argh, this is hard, I kiss him again. I would like so much to silence this voice which tells me to stop. I would so much like to let him continue and lose myself under his kisses.
But it’s too late. The voice of reason has taken me. I let myself go to this alchemy for a few more minutes. I enjoy this common desire, this unique, powerful and voracious kiss.
And I finally step aside. Finally, I play my role of big sister.
“You’re going to regret this.” “Hummm…” “If you like it, you’re going to regret it, come on let’s stop the nonsense, let’s go back to dancing. “
For only answer, he sticks again his lips against mine. Once again, I succumb. Damn, I did not expect a spark of desire like this between us.
Fight, girl, fight. Be a good person. I grab his skull, devour his lips one last time, whisper to him that he’s beautiful and stand up.
“Stop. I don’t want you to regret it. Let’s go dance.”
His eyes throw me a mixture of recognition and frustration.
“Okay, I’m going home. “
Relapse
Inwardly, I have no desire for him to leave. I would like to stay there on this chair to kiss him for hours and more if affinities.
But it’s out of the question. I have too much respect for him to jeopardize his relationship.
I pull him by the arm, he gets up in turn. On the way to the dance floor, I break several times, he pulls me towards him. His body against mine, his warm breath in my neck, and I melt again.
I oscillate between this duty of honesty, this duty to preserve his life, my future guilt, and this deep desire that binds us at this moment.
The walls welcome our relapses, my lips are still thirsty of him when finally, in a last kiss, I wish him to come back well.
At this moment, the alchemy is reciprocal. And while I try to regain my composure on the dance floor. He comes back, he approaches.
“Come home with me.” “No, I can’t, think about your girlfriend.”
He grumbles inaudible words. But he remains there in the middle of the dancers. And me I want to crunch him, I bring him gently to me, and while I pretend in the eyes of all to say a few words in his ear. It is my lips which taste once again the hollow of his neck. He smells good, he is beautiful and it is so hard to resist.
At this moment, beyond the pure desire, I have almost tenderness for this beautiful young man too drunk to know what he is doing.
Reason 1 – Alchemy 0
“At least accompany me to the elevator. “
I want to kiss him so badly, I don’t let myself be bothered. I don’t know what’s going on tonight either. Our lips meet again with even more ardor in front of the elevator.
“Come with me. We’re going home together. “
Be strong, be strong, be strong. My mind repeats to me.
“Have a good night. Get home safe, you’ll thank me tomorrow. “
He kisses me one last time, I almost shiver. His eyes are nothing but frustration and vodka steam. I promise you’ll thank me.
The elevator doors close. Pfffff… I would never have imagined such an alchemy.