Exquisite what else … Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash
There are men who make us crazy with desire with a single glance. He is one of them.
When I put my eyes on him, the desire is instantaneous. Instantaneous but vain, because the reciprocal is unfortunately not true.
Yet he is among these pages. And to tell the truth, it is not the first time that in a providential way my desire finds satisfaction in his arms.
He, the exquisite
I try as much as possible to keep everyone anonymous, so we’ll call him the Exquisite.
Simply because his face is exquisite. His features are fine, his lips are just fleshy enough to elicit kisses. Her big brown eyes seem to discover the world with an adorable innocence and curiosity. His nose has nothing to envy to the rest of his face, it has character, panache.
Yes you will have understood, I find him beautiful, simply.
Beyond his simple beauty, an incredible energy emerges from him. An energy a little lunar besides, he has this essence of the traveler, of the one who leaves the boxes. When I look at him, it’s as if I guess the child he was and will always be.
The gaze of others and his own don’t seem to have the slightest effect on him. He lives fully, detached. Without having the talent, he represents a little the soul that one would expect from an artist. One perceives there an incredible light, and a great part of shade too.
I may be wrong, I may have got it all wrong, I don’t know him that well. But it is this person that I contemplate when I put my glance on his smiling face.
First #meetoo meeting
The first meeting was a disaster. To be honest, I only remember it from other people’s memories.
Imagine me, after 5 pints of Chouffe, blowing out my candles in the dark basement of a bar in Paris. My libido is at its peak, I am unleashed.
He accompanies one of my best improv buddies. I see him, and I want to eat him up.
I have no memory of having persecuted him, yet at first sight, he was like a prey trying to escape his horrible predator. Ouch… The hunter has done it again.
In short, I don’t remember much about this meeting. He on the other hand, comes out of it with a certain trauma.
My buddy charms me, charms him and does not stop enjoying this story.
I cross the Exquisite on several occasions at my friend’s place. At first, I apologize. Sorry to have been so heavy… Then we laugh about it, it becomes a running joke for everyone.
On my side, I still find him so beautiful every time I see him. It doesn’t surprise me that I was so heavy.
But one thing is for sure, he’s out of the game, out of the competition, out of reach, I’ll never get him. You touch with your eyes, nothing more. Besides, with the reputation that precedes me, I might as well say that it’s dead.
The birthday
Then comes the summer. My friend celebrates his birthday every year in his house by the sea. The garden literally overlooks the beach.
You know my love of water. For me, there, it is simply paradise.
The Exquisite is there too, and all my improv clique. It’s my first year, I don’t know many people yet. So I drink, like the others, to forget my complexes and my shyness which resurfaces.
Here they are all beautiful. Girls as well as guys compete with grace, their bodies are tanned, muscular, in short they are close to perfection. I can tell you that with the small theater company, we are on another register… We are going to make up for it on the humor, shall we say…
The alcohol makes its effect, and after being unleashed on the dance floor, we grant ourselves a bath under the stars. It’s great, I’m at the height of happiness. At that moment, I don’t even think about guys, about hunting, about sex, I’m at one with the salt water again.
But when I come back from the swim, as I’m just finishing drying off. The Exquisite one approaches me. “You bathed? Lucky me! If I go, will you come with me?”. I feel like I’m dealing with the enthusiasm of a child.
Of course I’m going with you!!! And at that point, I don’t even have an ounce of ulterior motive. He’s just another excuse to go swimming.
Anyway, he doesn’t like me, like that, no ambiguity!
Swimming at night
Once his shorts are on, he tells me to follow him to the beach. He has a beautiful body, firm and muscular, without being a body of Ken plasticized.
Arrived on the beach, he turns to the right and starts to walk on the sand. But what is he doing? Why doesn’t he jump into the sea just in front of him?
I follow him for several dozen meters, then I jump into the water, and I try to follow his progress by swimming. Finally, he enters the sea.
He joins me, he swims gracefully. It is a child of here, it shows. Our gestures in the water become more ambivalent. The way he touches me is more intimate than usual. My ideas get confused, I shiver with desire.
Then, with a head movement, he points out a boat to me. “Come on, let’s go on the boat, over there. Uh, okay, why not, my little adventurer.
With an easy crawl, he joins the boat. It takes me a little more time to reach the breaststroke, he unfolded the ladder. I climb without difficulty.
`The boat
But whose boat is this? It’s all illegal… it only increases the heat that explodes in my lower abdomen.
I don’t dare to get closer. He’s shivering with cold, I put a hand on his shoulder to try to warm him up. What are we doing here? I can’t even hope for more to happen.
Then he bends over. Like a mirror, I imitate him, our lips unite.
My brain goes off, it’s the jackpot celebration up there, and I’m not telling you in my bikini bottoms.
The kiss becomes more intense, the bikini bottoms slowly come off. He lies down on the deck of the boat. I step over him. Neither of us has a condom, but at this moment, the temptation is such that I lose my mind. Too bad, we don’t spit on a fantasy that comes true.
Straddling him, I enjoy his lips and a pleasure as delicious as this wonderful starry sky. My gaze settles on his sweet face and then gets lost in the deep blue sky.
Pinch me if I am dreaming.
A hasty end
I feel him tense up. The moment is over. My knees are painful, the anti-slip spikes of the boat it grates…
The Exquisite one seems lost, his eyes took again a distraught air. While I make him a tender kiss on the shoulder. He gets up in a panic.
“What have we done? I have an explanation, my chicken… ” No one must know…” Blah, blah, blah, his ex is here, she absolutely must not know. No one should know about it. It must remain our secret.
And on these words, he tells me to wait a little before going home. Without any more tenderness, he jumps off the boat and starts to swim to the beach.
I could have been angry with him, I could have felt scorned, dirty, or offended. But the truth is, I knew it was too good to be true.
My eyes follow his progress in the water. I stay a few minutes, standing naked on that boat, a smile of pure happiness frozen on my face.
It doesn’t matter that he ran away. The memory of this magical moment and the joy that I feel at this moment is worth all the humiliation in the world. I put my wet swimsuit back on, make sure it’s already on the beach, and jump into the water.
The salty water finishes filling my heart which shakes with happiness. My mind is foggy and I feel like I’m dreaming. Slowly, I let myself float for a few moments, the current takes me away from the house.
I stay there and splash around nicely for a few minutes, then I go to the shore. Once my feet are in the sand, I start running in the opposite direction of the house. I have a crazy energy, I am intoxicated by the pleasure and this sweet feeling of victory.
Status Quo
Oh my god, I got The Exquisite. When others find out… Oh boy, that’s right, I’m not allowed to tell.
You know my ability to keep a secret… I couldn’t keep such joy to myself. If I tell my improv buddies, his ex won’t know. I only tell three of the girls in my group. No other leaks will happen that weekend. As for the rest…
The next day, like the oil queen, I consumed two other guys from the weekend, with a purely sexual appetite. It was like swallowing two peanuts after a gourmet meal, a hard return to reality.
From that moment on, the status quo was back. I would run into him from time to time. Always at that same birthday party, and then at other parties.
He hasn’t lost any of his beauty or his Aura that tirelessly attracts me. But when luck smiles on us once, we don’t expect to experience it a second time. It was a wonderfully accidental event, that’s all.
This year’s anniversary
Again this year, I’m invited to my buddy’s birthday party. It’s a festive time, I know almost everyone there now, and I don’t need to get drunk to feel good about myself anymore.
Except that this year, I’m a bit off. My mojo is still a bit low, I can’t feel good in my body and in my head. It’s silly, it’s a moment of madness, a moment of collective joy, and somewhere my heart is not in it.
So when I’m not feeling well, I only know one way to soothe myself: this beautiful ocean. I alternate between a midnight swim, a wild dance in the kitchen and a glass of Pastis on the Perret.
Two conversations with some of the ephebes make me feel even more insecure. I feel like a warthog in a group of gazelles. Level of seduction zero. I almost have tears in my eyes.
Bath of happiness
Then I leave once again to bathe, alone, naked, me and this sweet salt water. This night and the following ones, fluorescent plankton populates the basin. It’s a wonderful feeling, with each movement in the water thousands of little aquatic lights light up.
I feel like I am taking a star bath. The water penetrates all my pores. My body floats, twirls, sinks and calms down. So much for men, so much for this face that I can’t stand anymore, or this body that I find too much and not enough. Tonight, I live a simple happiness, I become one with nature again.
Here is where I am. I look up at the house. They all went down on the Perret to dance.
Come on Mymy, let’s stop being associable, and let’s dance on yesterday’s and today’s hits.
More disappointment
I am soaked, my hair drips on my bodysuit and my shorts. My friends welcome me with heat. It’s a mess here, I try to get into the mood, I climb on one of the sofas to dance.
A guy approaches me. Oh, would I have suddenly regained my mojo, he leans towards my ear. He wants me to fix him up with my friend. Great, thanks Gaston! Clap Clap. I tell him to manage, he only has to talk to her, it is not very complicated anyway.
I am in this kind of state that I hate in evening. Surrounded, but alone and in mental torture among the crowd. My smile is false, my enthusiasm is feigned. At this moment, I am sad and I suffer. It’s stupid, I would have everything to be happy.
The return of the Exquisite
Then a half-naked body suddenly climbs onto the couch, the Exquisite one looks at me with his big eyes, and starts to dance behind me. His beauty almost makes me feel worse. I dare not hope for anything.
Anyway, he won’t make the same mistake twice. He’s a bit wobbly, he smiles at me, and suddenly he grabs my hand. “Follow me, I have something to show you!”.
Even then, I can’t tell myself that anything is going to happen. He has kissed several girls tonight, I am far from being his first choice.
Yet it’s not to the house that he urges me to go, but to the downstairs dorm. There in the dark, hidden from view, he kisses me. I like the way he kisses. It’s stupid, but it makes me feel good, and it ignites my desire in an instant.
Ok, we kiss. So I take back the reins a bit and ask for another kiss, which he gladly gives me. Has he taken drugs? He hesitates, pulls me towards the dormitory, kisses me again. Then he changes his mind, and goes back up to the party, and changes his mind again, comes back to put his lips against mine.
I don’t want to let him go, I don’t want this parenthesis to end. He is the Exquisite, if there is only one here to sleep with, it is him.
The libido takes over
Then my kisses become more carnal, and I feel that his glance spins. Farewell young child of heart, I awoke the primary instincts of the man. Like a bear that brings his female back to his cave, he grabs my arm and pulls me into the dormitory.
My eyes are not used to the darkness, and I fall hard at the entrance. He continues on his way without inquiring about my complaints. His hand pulls on mine, and throws me against a wall.
He is bestial, he tries to pass his hands under my skirt. And when he finally understands that it is a short, he takes it off with eagerness. He has already made fall his pants and his boxer on the ground, and it is in front of his intimacy that I find myself already.
His hands and lips are on my breasts. He is voracious. I am liquefied with desire. But uh, we’re not going to do this in the middle of the dormitory, my little Exquisite.
I may have an idea, I push him back a little and tell him to follow me. A few corridors later, we arrive at the room.
Crazy night
It’s not the first time I’ve been there. He enters, impressed. No business, she is free. Suddenly, he locks the door, and he pushes me on the bed. He almost tears off my bodysuit and my thong. His head comes to lodge between my legs and he begins to slowly take care of me.
Ok, if half an hour ago, someone had told me that I would be there, I clearly wouldn’t have believed it. Sex god, my prayers have been answered.
He’s a little messy in his work but I’m so turned on, every lick is a delicious pleasure. Then I press him to come to me, I want to taste him, my lips are on him. His member fits him well, he is beautiful and well proportioned.
Then everything goes too fast, my burning desire, my alcohol level, his, and maybe the drug he took lead our bodies to interlock, without worrying about putting any protection. In 5 years, I haven’t learned anything, I haven’t matured, and temptation has once again overtaken reason.
My brain at this point is just a giant clitoris ready to devour the Exquisite. Alcohol or drugs make it never end, and that’s fine with me.
Exhausted after several dozen minutes, he decides to return to the party. No, don’t go, just one last kiss, I get up to kiss him and the desire is reborn on both sides. Again.
Scare
Shhh. A voice, then two, then three are heard on the other side of the door. I bite my lips to silence my groan. The doorknob collapses, but the door is locked. Thank you Exquisite for this stroke of genius.
A few minutes later, the footsteps drift away and we resume our nightly ballet. He gets up a few times, goes to the bathroom to drink. But he always ends up coming back to snuggle into me. How good it is.
How long it lasted, I have no idea. We explored everything, without reason, without protection but with a resourcing animality. We fall asleep in each other’s arms.
Soft beginning of morning
The light pierces through the window, I open my eyes, I turn over to him, it was not a dream. He is there, he sleeps peacefully. He snores a little bit too. Nobody is perfect.
I leave on the sly to look for our forgotten things. Everybody sleeps or almost in the dormitory, I find my shorts, and with groping I unearth his pants and his boxer. He is saved, he will not walk naked this morning…
Phew, while returning in the room, he did not disappear. I go back to bed in my panties, facing him.
His face is even more beautiful asleep, appeased. I know that this moment will not last. So sometimes, you have to know how to steal from life, the little pleasures it offers us. In a half-sleep, he grabs me and holds me against him, then turns me over and wraps his arms around me. My back and my buttocks are stuck to his moist skin. I savor it.
My arm and neck hurt, but never mind, I’m in his arms. Deep down, I know that in a few minutes the bubble will burst, so I ignore the small pains, and take the opportunity to place a few soft kisses on his salty skin.
He wakes up slowly, his excitement too. And in the early morning, we put a token in the machine of desire and pleasure. The angle is not very ergonomic, and we try again and again. But argh, to start like that the day…
Our bodies collapse in a last hug. My head rests on his chest and my lips graze a last piece of skin. He opens up a little.
Cold shower
He gets out of bed, I point to his clothes. His eyes have taken on a lost look. “What are we doing here, Mylène? How did we get here?
Haha, he’s doing it again! Bim loss of memory, your unconscious is really naughty! I explain him briefly, I don’t know what to say. As if I’m at fault, I defend myself, it’s as much his fault as mine, eh. Or even more…
He is embarrassed, and he apologizes and leaves the room almost running. That’s it. The dream is over.
Back to reality. An enchanted parenthesis, 5 years later. STI tests, 5 years later too. Do I regret it, no, too bad. This exquisite night was probably worth it.
Of course, we run into each other all weekend. Our conversations remain light, but our glances sometimes heavy of meaning. This time, no secret, and the remarks are discreet. But the moral lessons on the condom are numerous. Fair enough.
The rest of the weekend is more than wise. I oscillate between feelings of victory, joy, guilt and nostalgia for the memory. I don’t want anyone else.
It is with the eyes that I finish touching him these few days. His period costume makes me even more eager to take it off. I take advantage of a few glances on the fly to observe him again and anchor in my memory the beautiful features of this lover.
Thank you for these nights, beautiful Exquisite.